Are you someone who needs to have a long hot shower? Well, it can be justified on long winter days, but why on the sunny days too? The air is thick, the sun is bright, the day was long, with work and sweat, and yet all you need is a warm hot stream of water to touch your skin?
It makes no sense, does it? And yet, you do it. You close the door, turn the knob until steam fogs the mirror, and let the world outside melt away. In reality, you also agree, it’s far beyond the hot water, but something that you crave. Similar to why you crave chocolate, right?
And you have done it for so long that you cannot think of doing it otherwise? This has become a part of your day, more like a ritual.
This quiet ritual is more than just about getting clean. It’s a signal. A beautiful, secret language between you and your inner world. As you are aware of this fact now, it’s time to observe it in a better way. Don’t worry, you will not find another flaw about yourself, but something better.
As the philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti said, “The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.”
So let’s observe this quiet habit, shall we? Let’s listen to what it’s trying to tell us.
A hug in the form of water
The moment that hot water touches your skin, it’s not just your body that reacts; it’s your entire being. Think of it as your nervous system finally taking a deep, calming breath. The scientific reason is that it lowers stress hormones and activates your “rest and digest” state, but the feeling is pure poetry. If I were to give words to it, for you, it would be:
The warm water touches my arm and soul.
-Harmony
It soothes my shoulder and my brain.
It relaxes my muscle and my stress.
The steam and fog on the walls gives my foggy brain clarity.
And it’s not just poetic; it’s backed by science too.
The warmth also coaxes your brain to decrease the levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, which is why a hot shower can feel like a tender hug when you need it most. Your muscles, tight from the day’s burdens, finally let go, and in that release, your mind finds a moment of stillness.
It’s a modern-day form of cleansing that goes deeper than the skin. But sometimes, the story goes deeper still. Researchers at Yale found that the warmer and longer our showers are, the more we might be feeling a sense of loneliness. The physical warmth of the water becomes a stand-in for the social warmth we’re missing.
For some of us, the shower becomes a true sanctuary—a safe harbor from the storms of depression, burnout, or past trauma. It’s a place where we can just be.
A Gentle Word of Caution
Even our most sacred spaces require our awareness. Think of it like a beautiful oil lamp, a diya. Its flame gives light and warmth, but if you touch the flame directly, it will burn. Our shower is that flame—a source of immense comfort that must be approached with mindfulness. Let’s take a look at what physiologically happens when you take that “optimum” hot shower.
- A Strain on Our Heart’s Rhythm: While warm water is calming, water that is too hot can be a shock to our system, causing a sudden spike in heart rate and blood pressure. For those of us with existing heart conditions, this can be a real risk. Sometimes, it can even leave us feeling dizzy, a quiet reminder from our body to be gentle. And that is why you often feel a chill or a sense of fatigue after a nice long bath.
- Your Skin’s Gentle Protest: Your skin, too, can feel overwhelmed. Very hot water strips it of its natural oils, leaving it dry and asking for a little more kindness.
- An Echo Chamber for Solitude: Here is the most important whisper to listen for. If the shower becomes your only escape, your sanctuary can slowly become an echo chamber for your loneliness. It’s a temporary fix that can prevent us from seeking the connection we truly need. So just make sure the warmth your heart needs—the shower is not the only source of it.
Observe, don’t evaluate
So, what do you do with this? You don’t stop. You don’t label it a “bad habit.” You listen.
That pull you feel toward the shower is not a flaw. It’s a messenger. It’s your own resilient system trying to find its way back to peace. Let’s make it about you observing yourself with love and without judgment.
The next time you’re in that steamy sanctuary, ask your heart, “What is it you truly need right now?” Maybe you won’t find an answer to this directly, so reframe and ask, “What is it that makes you really calm and safe?”
The answer may lead you to seek other sources of warmth. To wrap yourself in a soft blanket, to hold a warm cup of coffee, or to find the courage to call a friend. You are right to note that these, too, can be escapes if you are not mindful. But the question here is, how long will you find an escape? Why do you even seek an escape? When you ask it, it will take you through a dark tunnel before you reach the light.
And sometimes that’s the only way out—to ask the right question, right?
Meanwhile, you can always enjoy these little safe spaces, but all along keep seeking, as it’s about you actively participating in your own journey. Each choice is a small step for you in understanding what truly nourishes you beyond the temporary solace of your shower.
This journey is not about you becoming a perfect, stress-free person. It’s about you becoming a more aware one. It’s about you listening to yourself before your inner self screams for help.
Found this article insightful, you want to know why you are always overthinking?
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